Michele's been off work sick for practically the entire week. While it's been nice, I can't help but think about the weekend, and how, of course, I have to work. Saturday, Sunday, and Monday. I swear, if I don't ask for specific time off, I just get totally fucked each and every week. One of the many reasons I love working at blank. It wasn't that bad before when Michele was in school and she could skip, or put off studying to be with me. But after about a year and a half of her working and me working, and neither schedule meshing with the other, well..it's starting to take its toll. I go back and forth about quitting my job. I mean of course I'd have to get another one, but who's to say that another job won't be equally as bad, if not worse than my current job. That scares me. I also have thought about going part-time at my job, and telling them that I can only work on the week days, but they could totally give me five hours a week and there's nothing I could do. Plus, the part time employee insurance is really expensive for what it is. Basically it covers going to the doctor, but what if you actually develop a condition? You're totally screwed. So that's another reason that I've put it off.
The truth is I haven't been happy at my job for a while. There are a few reasons why, and while I know them and talk to Michele about them, perhaps writing them out and looking at them for reals would be beneficial.
1) I hate dealing with customers that are total assholes. This goes without saying. We work in an environment that naturally caters to the people that are closest to the establishment. Basically nouveau rich people - i.e. (former) rednecks that might have started a business (landscaping or construction??) ten or fifteen years ago, and have become "successful". By successful, I mean they have the finest KB home money can buy (or some other crappy builder), and they have a Navigator that the wife drives, mainly ALONE, probably leased. The wife does the majority of the shopping with the kids in tow. Said kids are totally uncontrollable in the store and the frazzled and bitchy wife/mom is late for a tennis match/pedicure appointment/boob job consultation/play date. Well that just breaks my heart. Let me see if I can't move whatever line you're standing in FASTER THAN I ALREADY AM so that you can get to your appointment on time. Don't forget to fill up your big ass rig on the way since it gets, what, ten miles to the gallon? The problem I have with these people is not that they're total bitches, etc, it's that they know that we cater to them and they know WHAT we HAVE to do to make them happy and they demand it. I just know now that, having worked in retail for a few years, it's not for me. Not when I can't ever tell someone "no". Not when I have to give a person whatever they want just because. Where I work is a great place to shop if you're not an employee, but it sucks to work there.
2) As aforementioned, I hardly ever have weekend days off. If I could have one off every week, I'd be happy, but I can't get one really without asking. Therefore I must bitch.
3) I don't like the fact that I can work any time at any day. Most people in my department work fairly set hours. Not the people in my section though. I feel like we're the "bitches" of the department. When other people are off on the weekends, or if there aren't enough people to work in a section, then one of us has to go help out. I don't mind helping out, because it breaks up the monotony, but I'd like to see other people jump in and help when it gets busy in our area...it's just not fair. I can see people leaning up against counters and talking for thirty minutes while I'm busting my ass alone making sandwiches. WTF?
4) The schedule making is really crappy....holes everywhere. How do you expect the chef's case to get set up if YOU DON'T SCHEDULE SOMEONE??
5) Christian. Gone now, but still dealin'...jesus christo. What a terrible terrible manager/person. What a psycho. It really sounds bad to say this, but I don't care - whatever happens to her, she deserves. I'll leave it at that.
6) My relationship with a former friend/co-worker. It's been a very strange shift. It was the middle of March last year when one day he came to work and announced to everyone he was "through with people". Whatever that meant. I guess what it meant was that he didn't want to be my friend anymore because from what I could tell our relationship was the only casualty of the day. And I tried to talk to him afterwards; I could just tell, I just knew that it was the end of things between us. No explanation, no nothing. Weird. I ceased to exist. I later found out his dad was sick and wished that I could have been there for him. But I just never wanted to risk being hurt by the situation more than I already was. It's been really difficult for me to go to work every day and know that there's someone there who 1) I used to be be friends with and 2) no longer wants to be friends with me. I've not had to experience much rejection in my life, thank goodness. But in this instance it's like not only do I have to be reminded of the fact that we're no longer friends every day, I have no explanation of why things are the way they are. And would I even want to know the reason?? I have no closure. Nothing. I told Michele yesterday that I was just blown away by the fact that he asked me about geting SP tickets. Out of the blue, after not talking for over a year - 14 months to be exact - he asks me this, and I just don't know how to respond. Is this an invitation to begin speaking? It wouldn't be the worst thing in the world. Communication is essential when you work with someone, but we've done our best to avoid it. When it did happen, there was, in my opinion a lot of akwardness. I just think about how it really sucks to not be friends, but as bad as it is, at least that's something I can control. If we were to be friends again, how easy would it be for things to go back to the way they are now? That's too scary to think about. Phew.
7) Sanitation issues. I won't elaborate. Suffice it to say that I wouldn't eat there. Just sayin'
Ok, so there are my issues....having read through them they're bad...terrible actually. If one thing out of all of them could change, things would be so much better. For instance, if the powers that be actually made an effort to give people weekend days off FAIRLY, that would make things better. Or if the schedule could be made without major problems, that would be fabulous. Things like that....