I guess we'll just have to adjust...

Michele's been off work sick for practically the entire week. While it's been nice, I can't help but think about the weekend, and how, of course, I have to work. Saturday, Sunday, and Monday. I swear, if I don't ask for specific time off, I just get totally fucked each and every week. One of the many reasons I love working at blank. It wasn't that bad before when Michele was in school and she could skip, or put off studying to be with me. But after about a year and a half of her working and me working, and neither schedule meshing with the other, well..it's starting to take its toll. I go back and forth about quitting my job. I mean of course I'd have to get another one, but who's to say that another job won't be equally as bad, if not worse than my current job. That scares me. I also have thought about going part-time at my job, and telling them that I can only work on the week days, but they could totally give me five hours a week and there's nothing I could do. Plus, the part time employee insurance is really expensive for what it is. Basically it covers going to the doctor, but what if you actually develop a condition? You're totally screwed. So that's another reason that I've put it off.
The truth is I haven't been happy at my job for a while. There are a few reasons why, and while I know them and talk to Michele about them, perhaps writing them out and looking at them for reals would be beneficial.
1) I hate dealing with customers that are total assholes. This goes without saying. We work in an environment that naturally caters to the people that are closest to the establishment. Basically nouveau rich people - i.e. (former) rednecks that might have started a business (landscaping or construction??) ten or fifteen years ago, and have become "successful". By successful, I mean they have the finest KB home money can buy (or some other crappy builder), and they have a Navigator that the wife drives, mainly ALONE, probably leased. The wife does the majority of the shopping with the kids in tow. Said kids are totally uncontrollable in the store and the frazzled and bitchy wife/mom is late for a tennis match/pedicure appointment/boob job consultation/play date. Well that just breaks my heart. Let me see if I can't move whatever line you're standing in FASTER THAN I ALREADY AM so that you can get to your appointment on time. Don't forget to fill up your big ass rig on the way since it gets, what, ten miles to the gallon? The problem I have with these people is not that they're total bitches, etc, it's that they know that we cater to them and they know WHAT we HAVE to do to make them happy and they demand it. I just know now that, having worked in retail for a few years, it's not for me. Not when I can't ever tell someone "no". Not when I have to give a person whatever they want just because. Where I work is a great place to shop if you're not an employee, but it sucks to work there.
2) As aforementioned, I hardly ever have weekend days off. If I could have one off every week, I'd be happy, but I can't get one really without asking. Therefore I must bitch.
3) I don't like the fact that I can work any time at any day. Most people in my department work fairly set hours. Not the people in my section though. I feel like we're the "bitches" of the department. When other people are off on the weekends, or if there aren't enough people to work in a section, then one of us has to go help out. I don't mind helping out, because it breaks up the monotony, but I'd like to see other people jump in and help when it gets busy in our area...it's just not fair. I can see people leaning up against counters and talking for thirty minutes while I'm busting my ass alone making sandwiches. WTF?
4) The schedule making is really crappy....holes everywhere. How do you expect the chef's case to get set up if YOU DON'T SCHEDULE SOMEONE??
5) Christian. Gone now, but still dealin'...jesus christo. What a terrible terrible manager/person. What a psycho. It really sounds bad to say this, but I don't care - whatever happens to her, she deserves. I'll leave it at that.
6) My relationship with a former friend/co-worker. It's been a very strange shift. It was the middle of March last year when one day he came to work and announced to everyone he was "through with people". Whatever that meant. I guess what it meant was that he didn't want to be my friend anymore because from what I could tell our relationship was the only casualty of the day. And I tried to talk to him afterwards; I could just tell, I just knew that it was the end of things between us. No explanation, no nothing. Weird. I ceased to exist. I later found out his dad was sick and wished that I could have been there for him. But I just never wanted to risk being hurt by the situation more than I already was. It's been really difficult for me to go to work every day and know that there's someone there who 1) I used to be be friends with and 2) no longer wants to be friends with me. I've not had to experience much rejection in my life, thank goodness. But in this instance it's like not only do I have to be reminded of the fact that we're no longer friends every day, I have no explanation of why things are the way they are. And would I even want to know the reason?? I have no closure. Nothing. I told Michele yesterday that I was just blown away by the fact that he asked me about geting SP tickets. Out of the blue, after not talking for over a year - 14 months to be exact - he asks me this, and I just don't know how to respond. Is this an invitation to begin speaking? It wouldn't be the worst thing in the world. Communication is essential when you work with someone, but we've done our best to avoid it. When it did happen, there was, in my opinion a lot of akwardness. I just think about how it really sucks to not be friends, but as bad as it is, at least that's something I can control. If we were to be friends again, how easy would it be for things to go back to the way they are now? That's too scary to think about. Phew.
7) Sanitation issues. I won't elaborate. Suffice it to say that I wouldn't eat there. Just sayin'

Ok, so there are my issues....having read through them they're bad...terrible actually. If one thing out of all of them could change, things would be so much better. For instance, if the powers that be actually made an effort to give people weekend days off FAIRLY, that would make things better. Or if the schedule could be made without major problems, that would be fabulous. Things like that....

Fever in, fever out?

Well, seeing as my better half has posted 2 entries, and I none, I feel obligated to do so, especially as I'm convalescing.
One not so pleasant thing about living in the woods are our insect neighbors, namely ticks. Sunday I mowed our yards and the ditch by our road. For the rest of the afternoon I felt like I had been struck by a Mac truck. Repeatedly. The very marrow in my bones hurt.
Monday I still felt shitty, and even felt like I had a fever, but according to our $7 thermometer, no such luck. Side note: isn't it true that no one really buys someone's illness unless there's a fever involved (hence the ridiculous kid movie trick of the thermometer on the inefficiently hot incandescent bulb)? Or some intense documentable bathroom action, which I'm happy to report hasn't been the case.
So on to work for me on Monday. Came home and took a 4 hour! (no real sleep the night before) nap with L. I woke up hot as hell and now the thermometer reported my temp. as 102.5.
To the doctor yesterday - after a siphoning out a couple of vials of blood, the diagnosis is either an unknown viral infection, Rocky Mountain spotted fever, or ehrlichiosis. I won't know for a few days if it's one of the 2 latter.
But, at this point, the fever and aches are worth having a rooster for a neighbor and seeing a handwritten 'missing peacock' sign at the end of our road...

Le weekend

Well I was off on Saturday, and it was a really pretty day outside. We got up and went out to lunch with M's mom and brother (he just returned from a semester abroad). Cheesecake Factory. I enjoyed seeing bro, but I can't help but get annoyed with their mom quelquefois. And I know I'm not alone in that, I just sometimes feel a tinge of guilt about it. Sometimes.
We're almost thirty, and thinking about kids....and it makes sense that I'd stay home with them. Because I'd be working to pay for daycare. I will not be a conventional mom. And I admit that, yeah, it would be great if M could stay home and raise the chitlins, because she is a mom. She always has been. But is it fair to say that she would be "better" than me since neither of us have ever parented?
When we talked about it at lunch on Saturday, I just sat there thinking that I didn't need someone questioning my parenting capabilities. I'm not even a parent yet. You can read books, etc., but nothing can really PREPARE you for having a child. That's what I think anyway.
We got back from lunch, came home and put our blowup mattress out on the front lawn. We laid on it and it felt so nice - cool and breezy. I wish we could have taken a nap, but I kept thinking about snakes swirling around my feet, and Angus wasn't there.
Later we got up and had strawberry shortcakes for dinner. Yeah dinner. That night we went to a concert at the Cat's Cradle in Carrboro. The Rosebuds. They're a local band; husband and wife duo. This time around they had a couple more people in the "band", but it rounded their sound out. They sounded good. I think they were cheesing it up somewhat because people were filming the show, but it was still good. Their new cd is called "Night of the Furies" and is pretty good, although at nine songs, a little short. Their 2005 release "Birds Make Good Neighbors" is definitely worth checking out. It has a lot of nature references throughout and ideas of home and love and togetherness. So much of that I can relate to, especially since we moved into our house around the time we discovered their music. Here we're so close to nature which can be such a comfort. And I do think our relationship with nature has brought us closer together. We've always made a home wherever we've been, but now it truly feels like home. A family that I love so much...one day bigger, unimaginably filled with more love...I love your guyses so much!!!

Before the winter takes hold, and the figs all dry up cold
The birds all meet in the tree and confess love's what they need
The form lines on the limbs, and sing one of love's true hymns
If you listen close, you can even here them say
Will you ever not treat me right?
Are you ever gonna hold me down?
Will you ever get tired of holding me tight?
Looks like the story of love grows all right
Will our love ever end?
Will you let the cold shake our tree?
Will you stop being my best friend?
Looks like the story of love never ends......

Tuesday. May 15th.

Best day in a long time. First we got up late, had a doughnut from the night before (krispy kreme, after the Gwen Stefani concert....yeah we like her, so what?). The we got out of the house and went to:
1) Pick strawberries at Jean's Berry Patch $18 (and got sunburned)
2) Eat lunch at Tacos Mexico in Apex $30
3) Buy various gardening supplies at Lowe's $45
4) Buy groceries and other home stuff at Target $67
After all that shopping, etc. we were tired. It's hard though because we're rarely off on the same days. So we have to do all we can when we are together. And it seems of late that if we are off at the same time then we're of course doing something that we are obligated to do (deliver a wedding cake and attend the wedding), or work on the house when my parents are here helping. I'm not complaining about the help or the money from the cake, mind you. Just sayin'.
So anyway, we came home and planted a bunch of tomatoes and realized we didnt have enough pots or dirt. We went up to Ace and looked at pots (too expensive) and lusted over Smith and Hawken patio furniture (way too much $$). I know it's expensive, and yeah I know we're not made of money, but for God's sake, if you're going to get patio furniture, why not get PATIO FURNITURE? I feel like if you're going to buy something like that, you might as well get the best they make. In that sense I am definitely not my mother's child. We want something timeless and solid and.....teak. And teak isn't cheap. Sigh...
Anyway, we came back, had steaks and hot dogs (M) on the grill. And then I made strawberry jam from all of the strawberries we picked earlier in the day. I had never used pectin before in jam recipes, but it helps fruits that are low in pectin jell better. Tastes like shit though. The pectin. Not the jam. The jam is good...life is good.

Creation of This is the Modern Age Blog

Well, so this is our blog...something that I (L) have been wanting to set up for quite a while. If you happen to stumble upon this blog on accident, please feel free to read, reflect, and comment. Note however, that this blog was birthed because of my desire to keep a diary of sorts. But in this modern age, who has time for paper and pen? We're two twentysomething girls living in an impossibly small house in the woods outside of the triangle area, NC. We like to go to concerts, work outside in the yard, try new restaurants, and spend time with our pets (especially when they're not annoying the shit out of us).