Sunday, September 2, 2007

End of summer

Well, it's Labor Day weekend, the symbolic (albeit not official) end of summer... I don't have much time to post, b/c my snuggs will be home shortly and I have some clean-up yard work to do. I cleaned up some of our beds today, cutting out old growth, etc. and getting them ready for fall.
Developments since the last post:
The kids came to visit the week before my birthday. It was a hum-drum visit. They didn't have much moolah this time, and they didn't seem too excited about being here (esp. C). L stayed home with them during the week and they met me for lunch and did a lot of shopping. They did swim in our blow-up pool and do the slip n' slide (when Aunt Flow wasn't in town).

My birthday: 8-8-2007 my 30TH!!! It wasn't the traumatic day I was expecting. L ended up calling into work for the preceding 2 days (I think she needed some mental health time after having the kids and working too many days in a row), so she was relaxed, etc. for the big day. She decorated and made me a delicious yellow cake with a hybrid buttercream/ganache icing. We drank quite a bit of vodka on the 7th and had exceptionally fabulous sex. On the 8th we went to lunch at South, where I finally tried a mint julep (too strong at first, but the portion/potion at the bottom of the cup was tasty). Then we did some shopping at Triangle Town Centre (I abhor that spelling, but I'm trying to be accurate). We came home and exercised, then went to the late show of the Bourne Ultimatum, which was really exciting - a fun movie to see on the big screen.

Since then we've just been working and having our same routine at home. I don't want to bring up unpleasantries, but I will mention that it seems as though we've been fighting more this summer than we generally have in the past. We generally aren't a couple that fight - I mean sure I'll say something that will make L mad and she'll freeze me out for a night, etc. but we usually don't have big discussions.

I don't really know what's been different about this summer that has changed that. I do feel like that phase is behind us. I think sometimes couples can just get out of sync, although with us it didn't really feel like that. When we were fine, we were fine; there were just a few nights within a 1-2 month period that discussions kind of erupted. Sex certainly wasn't the problem :) I feel a lot of it was brought on by my negativity. I think getting close to my 30th birthday even brought some of it on. Part of the reason our relationship works so well is that we are supportive and considerative of each other. We make decisions based on their group impact, but we also recognize that sacrifice is a necessity in order to make sure we each accomplish what we want. We have been able to take leaps of faith together (i.e. moving to Wilmington, Charleston, Durham, buying this house, being out for so long, etc.) I think I misplaced some of that faith this summer and I really don't know why. I feel bad about it; I feel like I've overly burdened L and our relationship by being that way.

I love L more than I can ever articulate. I try to write it down (and I know that I'm not as diligent about this as I should be), so here goes:
The sun was close to setting the other evening when we were driving to dinner; it was behind us, and she looked at me and smiled. Her hair was fiery and golden red; her eyes were warm and brown and impossible to turn away from.
Her persistence in keeping our life photographed
Her perennial willingness to have a good time
The way she spoons me at night when we're falling asleep in our bed (heck, the way she does anything to me in our bed)
It's just the way that (she) loves me (thank you Ms. Abdul)

I'm asking for a raise at work on Tuesday; hopefully I'll get a positive response. If I do (and even if I don't), there's a real possibility that L is going to shift down to part-time hours. That would give us the weekends together!!!!

I know L is depressed about it getting dark earlier, and while I don't enjoy my day ending at 5, I am excited about fall! The cooler weather, the leaves (although who knows with the drought), the FOOTBALL! My snuggs' birthday (her turn to be an old lady), our concerts, our anniversary, Thanksgiving, Christmas... ding dang y'all!